The One with the FACE SMACK CHICK


by Marcus Lebov 

11PM – We pull up to Le Deux where valets were looming by the entrance with a few faux paparazzi buzzing around; waiting to capture rock stars, porn stars, reality TV personalities, and a smattering of B+ listers strictly there for pussy. One of the things I truly detest about Hollywood is the process of getting into these stupid things. Mention Mr. Boston and Slippy, who was now a rising VH1 “Rehab” star, though in his mind he was a punk-rapper supernatural being. The party was in full swing as we slid through the entrance relatively unscathed until Slippy had his chance to mug for the paparazzi. For Slippy, flashing or rolling cameras were like cocaine for Tony Montana.

11:08PM – Slippy is done with promoting his relapses to the faux paparazzi and TMZ. Le Deux is undersized and cramped – not very, um, user friendly…

11:11PM – Slippy is the best-known person at this party thus far – not a good sign…

It’s become a contest between Slippy, a slew of adult performers, some MTV reality people I did not know, D-12 and entourage sans Eminem, and a few other scrubs.

11:45PM – Brody Jenner shows up with a bunch of those dumb Reality Idiots in town and then I see one of my favorite people in the adult industry – Craven Moorehead.  He’s a XXX director and all around nut bag – absolutely insipid and fucking awesome! I saw a throng of forward-thinking XXX chicks with him. Craven Moorehead loves drinking, guns, and choking women in public venues like Le Deux…

11:49PM – Craven Moorehead is off and running. Once he starts drinking, all bets are off.  Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of them both – Slippy & Mr. Boston. I start heading over to Craven Moorehead and his crew…

1:07AM – Out of 3 forward-thinking XXX chicks with Craven Moorehead that night, one of them who will remain nameless but I will never forget her for the rest of my life – Mr. Boston and I have called her the FACE SMACK chick ever since…

1:11AM – Craven Moorehead has now been drinking for a few hours plus whatever else and he’s carved out his own VIP section in the corner – he tends to do that no matter where he is and he’s showing off the “FACE SMACK” chick – She was actually very attractive with a perfect body! A no silicone zone – quite rare for L.A. let alone the XXX game.

Craven Moorehead

Craven Moorehead

1:12AM – Craven Moorehead is behind the FACE SMACK chick with his hands around her throat and he asks me to slap her across the face. I’m not really sure how to take the question until I see a buddy of his smack her in the face – it was a shockingly firm smack directly across her face and she loved it!

1:17AM – Craven Moorehead is still behind my beloved FACE SMACK chick with his hands around her throat – Slippy & Mr. Boston have now joined up with me and Craven Moorehead’s inner-circle and we are all sort of mesmerized. Craven Moorehead always had a way of taking charge of situations and basically directing live subject matter in public. He fucking loved it.

1:27AM – Craven Moorehead is still behind the “FACE SMACK” chick. Now he has his hands around her head – Mr. Boston gives this chick a serious smack across the face and she says, “I’m getting wet now.” I was sort of afraid that I could possibly be prosecuted for hitting a woman in public like this but Craven Moorehead insisted and so did the FACE SMACK chick…

1:28AM – I slap her across the face and she tells me, “That was weak!” Mr. Boston comes around from behind and gives this chick the most wanton whack across the face yet again – her face swerved from the sheer velocity of Mr. Boston’s full on face smack and once again – she says – how wet she’s getting – and this is why she can’t do porn anymore – because no guy’s can be rough enough with her…

1:37AM – At least 15 different guys smacked her basically as hard as they could and she just could NOT get enough of it – Mr. Boston and I were awestruck, mesmerized, and fascinated with this FACE SMACK chick and we decided that we wanted to sign her exclusively to our XXX company ASAP.



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